Beauty, Vent Cycle

What I got for Christmas 2016

**Not bragging but sharing for all you sensitive people  out there

I worked really hard this Christmas. Like exceptionally harder than any other holiday. When I was younger, all of my relatives lived in New York. We would have parties just to have parties. But the holidays had their own special feeling to them. Before I was a teenager and before I could actually appreciate it, everyone moved except us. For years, the holidays weren’t anything special to us. Then my son was born and the holidays meant something to me. His three Christmases were bland and nothing special to anyone but this year I had my boyfriend and his family (who I grew up with). Last year I vowed to make the holiday’s amazing and mean something to my family again. I can gladly say I succeeded thanks to my boyfriend and his help. I was so focused on getting everyone the PERFECT gifts that I wasn’t even concerned with what I was getting. I am so thankful for what I got and all the laughs I shared with these wonderful humans that I can call family.

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Let’s start with one of the gifts that I use everyday. My Boyfriend got me the Kylie Holiday Collection!!! I was really bummed out that I couldn’t buy this collection because I was spending all my money on everyone else but I survived. I literally screamed when I opened the brown box he stuffed all these beauties in. This collection contained the Kylie suede pouch, the Kylie makeup bag, the Holiday Palette, the mini lipstick collection, three individual lipsticks and glosses, three creme shadows and two lip kits. The packaging was amazing and I’m saving the ornament style ones for next years Christmas tree. I’ll do a separate review post about it because believe me, I have a lot to say.


I hate knowing what I am getting as a gift. I love surprises and just the anticipation of it all. But I have an even greater love for gift giving. I love seeing the expressions on people’s faces when they get my gifts and are extremely happy. For that reason alone, I actually didn’t open a few of my gifts until everyone else was done because of the madness that Christmas was, we didn’t even notice. My boyfriends sister and husband got me this awesome Turquoise portable Crosley Turntable. I’ve wanted one (a turntable in general) since I was 15 and now I can’t wait to go out to buy vinyls and be one of the cool kids. There’s also an aux input so I can connect my phone and use the speakers as is. OBSESSED isn’t even the word for how much I love it.


My mother went on the more practical route and bought me clothing for work. At my job, we have to wear all black all the time. I used to work retail before Ayden’s diagnosis and spent a year of my life convincing myself that I needed to move away from black clothing (because it became a shopping habit) and go for more color. Now I have the total opposite problem and struggle to come up with outfits for every day I go to work that’s all black because I want to wear color and sometimes sneakers. My mother bought me a few shirts, a few cardigans, and a light jacket that she swears is sooo “me”. In her defense, it really is me, lol.


My boyfriends sister’s mother-in-law and her kids gave me a satchel that says “smile if you’re naughty” which of course I smiled because I’m a truthful person. Inside the satchel was a Godiva Hot Cocoa kit that included a huge mug (which you know how I feel about my mugs), a bag of Godiva cocoa powder mix, a bag of mini marshmallows, cinnamon powder, and a peppermint stick to stir it all in. Keep in mind, I already tried the hot cocoa by now and I wasn’t a big fan of the taste but the mug is one of my favorites because of the amount of liquid it holds. Also in the naughty bag was a red Uniglo scarf that has heat tech. Basically with every drop of moisture that falls on the scarf, the warmer it gets. Winter Essentials.

My boyfriends youngest sister got me this cool handbag charm that has a usb cord, iphone charger, and android charger so I can charge all my devices where ever I am. I’m notorious for forgetting my charger so I was so excited to just clip this on my bag and just leave a charging cube in my purse and a portable battery. My boyfriends mother actually bought me a gift that didn’t show up until Tuesday. She got me these amazing knee-high olive-green suede boots that I am absolutely obsessed with. They’re from Lola’s Shoetique which is my all time favorite shoe store so best believe I was excited to get these gorgeous beauties.

The biggest thing I got for Christmas was a gut. My mother and I made rice, lasagna, pernil, and potato salad. Stocking were also a big deal for me. I went out of my way getting these cute stockings and having everyone’s name embroidered on theirs. Of course I couldn’t stuff my own stocking so I told the only person who stuffs my stocking on the regular, which is my boyfriend. My stocking stuffer included a thermos that keeps warm for 12 hours and cold for 24 hours. I also got aloe infused fuzzy socks which is amazing because I love cozy fuzzy socks during the winter. My favorite thing is this POP! Jillian Holtzman figurine. On our way home from Cancun we watched the Ghostbusters reboot and I fell in love with Holtzman. I couldn’t stop laughing at her and I just love this little figurine. I wanted to start collection POP! figurines so hopefully this is the start of my collection.

My greatest gift of all though was to be able to throw a Christmas get together with family that I love and hold so dear to me. It was definitely an accomplishment that was filled with laughter and happiness. Honestly, I wouldn’t have changed a thing about Christmas this year. The holidays are so stressful and honestly I was beyond stressed for a month but I’m so glad that this was the result I got. I would host Christmas every year of my life if this Christmas was the sneak peek of every other one to come. I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and holiday. Let me know what was your favorite gift this season, don’t worry, I wont judge.

 

Vent Cycle

Family man

Is a family man the way to go? I’ve always heard to pay attention to the way a man treats his mother because it’s a reflection of the kind of person he is. But never did I hear the backfire. The negative of a family man. 

At first you love it, I’m huge on family. When I was younger, my entire family lived in New York and my dream of having a huge family in the future grew. I’ve always said I wanted 5 kids, six maximum. Having so many uncles, aunts, and cousins around, there was always a party. I loved coming together as a family. The food, the gossip, the funny stories, the dancing, the music, you couldn’t be upset. Growing up, my big family was everything I wanted for the future. But eventually everyone moved to Florida but my immediate family. 

With every boyfriend I’ve had, I’ve been adopted into the family by one member or the other. I never had problems with parents until my sons father’s family but that’s a list of problems I rather not relive. But never did I ever think that having a boyfriend who was all about family, something I looked for, would be a problem. I bask in joy with the family get togethers, the hilarious stories, the endless birthdays. Never did I think about: with the list of people, which number am I?

I’ve never minded being placed second after a man’s mother. I believe that’s the way it should be. A man’s mother is their first love. I know I’m at my happiest when my son looks at me with those big brown eyes as if he could love no one more than myself. But what about the rest of the family? Do I have to be placed at the bottom of the list because YOU have so many members? Or do I eventually get placed above after an accomplishment? Am I in a competition that I didn’t know about? Can we play kickball? I’m really good at kickball. How do you get to the top of the list when you date a family man? How do you get the man you love to put you before his family every once in while? It doesn’t have to be all the time, just some times. Seriously though, I’m really good at kickball. 

Vent Cycle

“Bitch”

I’ve had the privilege of knowing who I was as a person at the young age of 8 years old. At that age, things have happened to me that no 8-year-old should experience but I did and I lived. That’s the way I saw it. I’m still alive and I won’t let this define me. Some people would say I ignored it but in all honesty, I was too young to understand it. By the time I understood everything that had happened, I was already past it.

I was in high school when people began to tell me that they loved my sense of humor because I had no filter (thanks to my brother, Jorge). As I grew closer to some people, they began to tell me they loved me because I tell it how it is. I’ve always been praised by people when it came to my blunt attitude. But with praises comes disapproval.

I’ve been called a bitch many times in my life and honestly, I don’t give a fuck. Don’t get me wrong, I care about a lot of things and I do have feelings. I just know that some things I just can’t care about or let affect me because they are just opinions. I’ve always told myself “as long as I like me, I’M okay.” I apologized in a bullshit way always. “I’m sorry you feel that way.” If you know me, then you’d know that “I’m sorry YOU feel that way” AND “I’m sorry BUT..” are not apologies. They’re just words to clear your conscience and I don’t accept them.Did I want to clear my conscience? NOPE. I just wanted the person to leave me alone. Am I a bitch? Eh, Maybe.

I’ve lost very few friends. I’ve lost friends to death. I’ve lost friends through lack of communication because sometimes life happens and you just lose touch. But I’ve hardly lost friends because of anything personal. Just recently I’ve lost someone who I considered a sister at one point and while it did hurt me, I realized that things happen for a reason (cliché much?). One of the last few texts exchanged was “One day you’ll realize that you don’t have to be mean and a bitch to everyone” or something like that. I don’t know, I got a new phone and lost a lot of messages. ANYWAYSSSS. I thought about it and really thought, I wasn’t even being a bitch. My previous text was “okay, insert name here, have a great day at the beach. Its beautiful outside.” I honestly meant it because IT WAS a beautiful day outside. But I was a bitch.

I think everyone loves a blunt or honest person until the bluntness is towards them. Why can’t people just take the truth. I don’t work with Willy Wonka, I can’t sugar coat everything. I will tell you how it is in a polite way, unless you’re my two best female friends because fuck you guys, you can handle it you strong independent hoes (A&G). I like to tell the truth, the way it is, raw. I’ve had ex’s tell me I was too bitchy. I’ve had females tell me that I was rude even though they co-signed when I was blunt with other people. I’ve lost myself a million times so far at the age of 24 but I’d always be blunt and I feel like more people should be blunt. I guess I’d always be a bitch.

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Vent Cycle

Dear America

I’m exhausted. I’m already an over-thinker by nature but last night, even though I didn’t know the final results, I did the math and just knew (thanks a lot Pennsylvania), that Hillary lost. I was never #WithHer but I knew I couldn’t choose a third-party because every vote counted and sadly I decided to pick two of the lesser evils. I was Bernie all the way for such a long time. I’m still a Bernie supporter and I want to just yell.

Dear America,

I’m yelling at the Latino Hillary supporters. I know that a lot of them were our parents. Our parents whose spent their lives raising us and telling us to not give up. That to achieve something you have to work hard. But do you know what happened when I told them to vote Bernie when it was time to choose between him and Hillary? “He’s not going to win so what’s the point?” How do you know if you don’t TRY? I mean, it’d probably still would have been rigged but still, how would you know if you DON’T TRY?

Now moving on to the rest of America who failed me and our future generations. I’m sick. Sick to my fucking stomach that Donald Trump will be  our president. The only question I have is, how? How was Trump an option? How stupid can you be? How can this man even qualify?

Dear America,

How am I going to explain to my future children that THAT IS NOT LOCKER ROOM TALK when this man is our president? I heard men say “I’m not trying to say what he said was right but if you heard the shit that was said in….” Guess what? You’re just as bad. I grew up with a majority of male friends. I’ve heard them speak about what they did during sex with no censor or what they would do with someone if they had the chance. I’ve never heard them talk about doing something to a girl without her consent. Never heard them speak about sexually abusing a woman. If I did then that would make them SCUM. In no way is it okay to just “grab them by the pussy.” This man said he would fuck his own daughter and America thinks that’s okay?! To think we can raise a generation of intelligent, well-mannered, leaders of America when this is the man you chose as our leader, America? I was sexually abused when I was younger and I live with it. You know what hurts more than that? The fact that the man who did it, sees that it’s not that big of a deal in America. That he acts like it never happened and it’s not significant. Thank you.

Dear America,

How am I supposed to tell my child that this man who kicked out a child with Cerebral Palsy during a rally that he cares about people with disabilities? I stay up until 1 am (because I couldn’t keep my eyes open) looking at the voting results and then at my son thinking “he doesn’t give not one fuck about you.” My son has Autism and for all I know the Trump, who has shown no care for anything but a fucking wall this whole campaign, will cut funds that help my child progress. This man who openly mocked imitating a Times reporter who happened to have Arthrogryposis is supposed to give a fuck about my child or any child with disabilities and are already struggling in the world? How am I supposed to tell my son that this man thinks that everyone with a disability is a joke? Thanks a ton, America.

Dear America,

What do I tell my future children when this man is delivering speeches about minorities and how we are lazy and useless? How do I tell my children that yes there is racism in the world but one of those narrow-minded individuals was allowed to help RUN OUR FUCKING COUNTRY? That our skin tone isn’t white enough. How am I supposed to tell my children that their skin is beautiful, to be proud of our culture and embrace everything we are as people to only have the President of the (so-called) United States diminish us as people and look down on us? “Yes we had our first Black President and while we still had racism, their was still a difference being made by showing that minority had power.” she said. “Okay mommy, and after Obama, who was president.” “Oh no sweetie, we ignore that portion” she said. “Is that we don’t live in America now?” the children asked. How am I supposed to raise my children knowing this man hates immigrants and minorities even though his wife is an immigrant herself? Thanks Merica’.

Dear America,

We faced so much this year. One thing that effected me so much was the Orlando Pulse tragedy. Even though I knew no one there, I cried for days. My heart broke for the families. My heart broke for Florida. My heart broke for America as a country because we were suffering. I LOVE LOVE. No matter who as long as you’re not related in any way. This man who has been married THREE times can make an opinion on marriage when obviously he treats them like his companies? When one fails, just start another one? This rapist is allowed to say his marriages are valid but not those of people who actually know what it is to fight for love? THANK YOU AMERICA BUT ESPECIALLY THANK YOU FLORIDA YOU FUCKTARD STATE.

Dear America,

I was never really patriotic. I mourned for our country when we were attacked by enemies or by our own. Did I ever feel this love for America? No. I always had pride in New York. I’d brag that I was a born and raised New Yorker. I’m so happy I can still brag because we were one of the few states that Hillary won. But I can’t stress enough that I am NOT proud of America. A special fuck you to Texas, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Michigan. Thanks.

Dear America,

Everyone has their right to vote and everyone has their right to their opinion (for now). BUT I have the right to tell you that your vote for trump and your opinion that Trump will make America “great again” is by far the most dumbest thing known to man. Thanks America for fucking us over.

Sincerely,

A pissed off Latina Mother of an almost Four Year old with Autism.