Batman vs. Superman

I’ve been seeing posts on facebook on this movie and people have been rating it a B minus. B at most. There wasn’t really a lot of hype on this movie since we’ve heard about it years ago. The only real ruckus I heard about it was when we found out that Ben Affleck was playing Batman and again, that was a year or two ago ( my memory is shot). I went to see Batman vs. Superman last night and I have a bit to say about it. If we’re going to rate movies off of a school grading system then I have to skip a grade and give the movie a note instead. I give this movie a “see me after class.”

I am not a comic book reader nor do I plan to be one. I don’t think being an avid comic book reader is a requirement to express how you feel about any movie. Shit, half of the people who watched The Great Gatsby watched it for Leo(understandable) but never read the book. Without reading the comic books but watching cartoons and growing up with brothers, I know the basics and basically learn by watching the fucking movie. It’s not rocket science and not something I have to study for.

I went into the theater with an open mind because 1. the reviews were not good and 2. I’m a big batman fan. So I walked in knowing that superman’s powers are godly. I commited my self to be unbias. What I didn’t commit myself to was being bored. I understand that a storyline has to be created and followed through before we get to the action. I understand that we need that “and the plot thickens” moments. But jesusssssss, I felt like 2 hours of that movie was story lining, 25 minutes was glorious action, and 5 minutes was the credits.

There were one or two jokes in the dialogue but not much, which I understand because DC is a bit more on the serious side than Marvel.The dialogue isn’t what I found as the problem. How long it took to get to the good stuff was THE problem. I felt like I was watching an extremely long trailer and then walked into the movie at the end. Obviously this movie was just a place to leave easter eggs for The Justice League rather than a battle between Batman and Superman. I wish the great graphics and action scenes were enough for me but I’m high maintence. At least the actors(and their bodies) were good too.

I never doubted Ben Affleck would do Batman justice. When it was announced I was like “yea, I can see that.” So it was no surprise that he actually did a great job as Batman, and praise the Lord, that body is everything (sorry boys, I am a female). Henry Cavill aka Superman’s body was just as good and his acting was great. I just still can’t wrap my head on the whole “oh glasses, it’s just Clark Kent” and the ” that one strand of hair, he’s Superman.”But I guess thats just something i’ll have to get through by myself. Is there a support group for this kind of thing? Anyways, Wonder Woman is EVERYTHING I’ve ever wanted to be in life. Flawless everything, costume changes, indestructable make-up, beautiful gowns, sexy accent, hair spray that keeps her hair in place, and the sass is just a glorious combination. Gal Gadot playing Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman was a good choice. She pulled of the mysterious looks and over the shoulder glances. Also, the action scenes with her, perfection. The man of the hour to me though, has to be Jesse Eisenberg who played Lex Luthor. Even with his Johnny Depp Willy Wonka haircut his performance was A1. Anyone else get Joker vibes from him? His crazy eyes and weird dialogue had me captivated. Honestly, my favorite character from the movie.

The one character, I could NOT stand though was Amy Adams’ character, Lois Lane. Maybe it was the feminist in me or just not wearing fucking rose colored glasses but damn this girl was annoying as fuck. As you can see with the increase of cussing, I really don’t like her. She was incredibly needy, whined about a lot, got in the way of everything and was always on the verge of tears. Where was Superman with the cheesy line “I need to be strong for the planet, so I need you to be strong for me.” Lets get Nicholas Sparks in this bitch and have some corny lines because that’s apparently whats needed in movies for a woman to be strong and independent. Couldn’t she take a damn page from Wonder Woman’s book and put on her big girl panties. She was looking for ways to help always and I had to repeatedly say in my head “girl, you’re a reporter. Go report something, you can get yourself killed.” The Lois Lane from the cartoons was much stronger, stood aside, and definitely a lot more fierced.  I’m all for “women can do anything” and go through so much but damn girl take several seats. We’re in a movie theater, theres more than enough chairs to go around.

I was really hoping for another great comic book movie. This is the year of movies and I’m just really dissapointed that I didn’t get what I expected. Maybe my hopes were too high. Maybe I expected to much. Regardless of all that, to the writers and producers and director of Batman vs. Superman, see me after class. Just my opinion.














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